


Break

by ewuo (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M, Sad, Yaoi, maybe happy ending though, probably not going to be a happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 05:26:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6066862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ewuo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi Ackerman has been told he has PTSD, Erwin Smith has become worried over the man who's so close to a point of loosing all sanity. The two have a forbidden secret they must not tell anyone, being in a unofficial relationship would ruin both of them. Though, they can't keep away... Levi's sanity might just shatter, and all hell will come if the demon of the underground breaks free from his chains.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break

**Author's Note:**

> This is only the intro, all chapters will be longer!

It's not like they didn't know of his past, Erwin and Mike had heard a few stories of the demon known as Levi Ackerman. They didn't expect such a small man with simple wishes, clean surroundings and quiet. Of course, they had known him for some time now. They knew better than to expect such things, now. Levi wasn't evil, not in their eyes, Erwin saw him as kind, Mike seen someone incredibly misunderstood... They were wrong. Levi looked calm, but now more than ever he was breaking. Levi's entire existence was hanging by a thread, a thread of sanity in his dark and depraved being. His life wasn't that for the light hearted. Hardly was it for him, someone hard to be affected. Levi's body ached every day, but his mind was something that was far more wounded.

–

“Post traumatic stress disorder.” The therapist said so simply. Erwin bit his lip, nodding slowly. Levi was simply looking out the window without emotion. “It's the worse case I've seen. He hides it well, but I highly doubt it's even slightly controlled.” “I see...” Erwin was more troubled by this news than Levi. Why was this needed? Levi had almost cut someone's neck in half for making a weird noise. So, Erwin had him visit a counselor. Perhaps Erwin didn't think that Levi could be effected like this, but it was more than just the titans that were shattering Humanity's Strongest solider. It was his past, his emotions, his longings, and the titans. “Levi, I suggest you find someone you trust to speak to about this. I highly doubt he'll breathe a word to me.” The man said. Levi hated the man. He was pale, his hands perfectly smooth and soft, his hair clean, and his nails perfect. He didn't do shit. He likely didn't even write his own reports, there wasn't a single stain of ink, and he was left handed. Erwin didn't seem to notice Levi's opinion, no one did.

Levi was a closed book, sealed by his walls, and protected by a fierce attitude. All of which, the past was his true weakness... Levi had been kidnapped at a young age, three years old. He was sold out like an animal to men who merely seen him as an innocent catch to ruin and cover in filth. He was beaten, raped, and all out abused in every meaning of the damn word. Kenny was an awful man, too, but he saved Levi in his own twisted way... Levi wasn't touched anymore, but Kenny made him live in the moments he was. Kenny destroyed the tiny bit of sanity the small child clung to desperately. Levi was now a monster. He would kill anyone in the blink of an eye, without thought, without regret... Though, one person, he couldn't. Someone who he'd used as a security blanket, someone to keep him sane throughout all the inhabitable sensations of murder; Erwin Smith. Levi himself didn't understand why Erwin managed to calm his awful intentions, perhaps it was the stern but calm voice, or maybe it was just that Erwin was his wings.

Erwin Smith did something for Levi that he couldn't have dreamed of, he freed him from the underground. Erwin became the wings Levi needed to soar, and Levi promised himself to never damage these wings. He might be a monster, but he knew when to appreciate something with all his being... Recently, though, his wings had been damaged. Erwin wasn't sleeping, and would work until he passed out on his desk. Both of the two were fragile, incredibly close to their point of no return. The news about Levi, pushed Erwin further away. He realized, he'd been neglecting him. Levi and Erwin had a very interesting relationship. Neither would admit it, but they were technically cuddle buddies. If either felt too stressed, the other would act as a pillow. During times they both felt it, they'd lay together silently, with no movement. Most merely believed Levi would enter Erwin's room to assist with paperwork, since he could be seen doing that throughout the daylight... Mike, Hange, oh they knew the truth. Hange was sure it was something more than cuddling. Mike agreed. Why? They seemed relaxed around each other, calm, peaceful, and even blissful at times. The two could only imagine how they acted when alone, laying together. That was their reasoning.

Both the men were so close to shattering, though. Could this really be healthy? Of course not. They'd grow attached to the other, loosing one would become loosing both. It wasn't sane to dare try anything. They'd be killed trying to save each other. That, at least, is how they saw it. Hange didn't agree, of course. What could that be helped? Levi nor Erwin could change _her_ mind. Maybe Mike's, but not Hange's. She was stubborn as hell, but perhaps that was why they were all such good friends. They were all stubborn, and unwilling to budge. “Levi Ackerman.” A stern voice shook the black haired male from his thoughts. “Sir?” He questioned, looking to Erwin blankly. “I want you to tell me when you feel that you're too stressed out.” The counselor left the room, the door was closed, now they could be themselves.

“No.” Levi answered simply. “But, Levi, it will help you.” Erwin tried to reason with the man, but no use. “I won't come to you and talk about my feelings. That's that.” Levi stated simply, standing up. “May I be dismissed?” “No. Come here.” Levi listened, walking over. As Erwin wished, he moved down and sat in the blonde's lap. “What if someone walks in?” “Never mind that for now... Levi, I want to know how you're doing. If you won't do it for yourself, will you do it for me?” Erwin's request was one Levi could feel, Erwin truly was worried. The larger hands softly cupped Levi's face, thumbs rubbing lightly against the porcelain skin. Levi couldn't help but sigh and lean into the touch. “Alright. For now on, I'll tell you how I feel.” He mumbled. “Every night before bed. Don't miss even one.” Erwin said. Levi merely nodded, then stood. “I'll be going now.” He said. A silent nod and Levi exited the room. Finally.

–

Perhaps it was something some consider a weird way to relax, but Levi had just cleaned the entire HQ. With a little help, of course. Why? As said, for him it was incredibly relaxing. More so than telling Erwin a word. “H-Heichou, watch out!” A quick shout, but not quite quick enough. _Slam_! Eren Jaeger's body flung against Levi's, knocking them both onto the floor. Levi would've kicked Eren off if the floor was dirty, but it was freshly cleaned so he just waited for the brunette to move. “I'm sorry Heichou!” Eren said nervously, picking up the sacks of paper he was carrying. “Where are you taking all this?” Levi asked,beginning to help since the paper had scattered everywhere. “Commander's office. He needs them.” Eren explained, still nervous. “Calm down, brat.” Levi said with a sigh, handing the papers to the brunette before taking half of the pile. “I'll help you.” “Heichou, you don't have to!” Levi glanced back, his silver eyes staring daggers at the bright green ones. “That wasn't an offer, Jaeger.” Eren gave a warm smile, “thank you, Heichou.” Levi rolled his eyes, looking to the front again as he walked down the hall. “Don't mention it.” He meant that, actually. Eren nodded worriedly. “Yes, Sir.” Levi sort of knew how Erwin felt now. Eren would do anything he asked, at any moment, anywhere. Levi was the same with Erwin, but, he himself was much different from the cheery titan shifter. Eren had seen horrible things, he's lost a good amount, but he was _innocent_. Levi was _filthy_ and _dirtied_ by so many men. He didn't think he could ever be something someone seen as innocent.

Little did Levi know, Erwin's mind was entangled with him. The blonde failed to stop thinking about Levi. Day, night, whichever. Working was becoming more difficult, he knew he needed to keep his feelings to himself. It could cost both their lives! Though, he didn't know if this life was even one worth winning. Erwin doubted the titans would ever vanish. In fact, he was pretty damn sure what they were doing was useless. A food chain had developed, they weren't on the top anymore. Nor will they ever be. Titans don't need food, or water, and can heal within only a few seconds. How could humans defeat such a force? Eren Jaeger offered hope, but hardly enough for anything real. Not to the man who watched so many die. He didn't want to see Levi die, ever. Erwin was already clouded by the man, Levi Ackerman. Who was suffering so many wars within his mind, Erwin could see his true being. He could see a small child, curled against a corner in a dark room, begging to be loved and truly wanted. Who did he think he was... How could he do such a thing to Levi? He'd only break him more when he gets killed. Levi would likely snap, and have to be put to death himself.

That was one thing, Erwin did not want out of his love for Levi. He didn't want to see the white rose bruised, wither, then die. Not even for a drop of his blood to taint the peddles. Though, at night, it was growing harder and harder to let go. He didn't want to, not anymore. So many things held them back. Levi's sanity was most of it. Erwin didn't realize he was the only thing holding Levi together. A frail doll stitched so loosely together, Erwin was the keeper who didn't allow anything to rip it. If something did, he would repair the stitching. Levi was devoted to him, throughout time now. Still, he felt something was missing. They both did...

The titans were here to stay. What they did wouldn't make a difference, so why were they so timid? Eren had shown interest in Levi, yet another thing that was making Erwin distance himself from his precious rose. Levi, was wilting due to neglect. That, Erwin had noticed today. Now, that Levi was wilted almost beyond repair. Luckily, he'd caught it. It was something the small male didn't let on, but he could see it now. Levi was falling apart, rotting within his own skin, trapped. He wanted to help, but he was unsure how...

But I guess that's what we're here for, isn't it? To see what happens, and how everything works out... Well, it's up to you if you wish to continue this. After all, it'll likely touch some rather triggering subjects, and dive deeper into Levi's tormented past of abuse...

Can you handle something like that?

… Can _Levi_?

**Author's Note:**

> Aha~ Hope you all like it. This was actually super fun to write! I didn't want to stop, honestly...
> 
> Having so many Blue Exorcist stories, and two multichapter ones, I decided my AOT needed an ongoing story too!
> 
> Please look forward to future chapters!


End file.
